Mistrop, Illinois. 11/21/2025.
Pg. 6
My stomach turned and twisted like it usually does when I avoid a car crash once I saw Henry Casanova strike Leonard Brooks on the set of Augustus Germanicus Hobberknocker this past summer. A collective gasp followed, which quieted plenty of side talk with the crewmembers and actors dressed in retro gladiator and shining knight armor. But* I remember, distinctively, wanting to scream when Henry's voice erupted.
"Did I say to act 'jogged and screwed?'" Sir Director said aloud to a hunkering Brooks, who kept one hand to his cheek. His ancient voice reminded me of a disgruntled Sam Eagle. "What the hell was all that?"
With the sun beaming down on just around 300 of us, it was easy to see that everyone didn't know how to respond or even react. Maestro Slapper glanced toward one end like he was waiting for someone to speak up.
Thankfully, his assistant did.
"Mr. Cass, I think we should take a breather fro-"
"If I need a breather, I'd tell you to first stop, shut the hell up, and to secondly don't interrupt me while I- we! WE! We figure out the shot! Leave me, Jane. Now!" King Henry demanded.
If
it weren't for Sassy Cassie's daughter disapproving barking, Heir Henry
would've gone on to embarrass Brooks, Jane (real name Mag Bargo - the
problematic director names all his assistants 'Jane' due to the rapid
hiring rate with Casanova; Bargo is technically Jane #4 for Hobberknocker's
production), the crew, and himself. "Quit this now, or you're uninvited
to my wedding, Daddy!" Julianna Casanova remarked as she stood behind
her father. Julianna celebrated her 22nd birthday earlier this year.
From there, daughter Casanova simply told everyone that the filming day "is now done, thank you everyone!" and that we'd continue the next day. The following morning, the production company, Lost Notion Productions, announced a "pause" in filming, which is still active as I write this.
The domino effect of Hobberknocker's troubles only stumbled from that moment.
Despite Lost Notion prohibiting recording of any kind on sets, they've allowed certain exceptions. Many found their way to the trash, though the few that surfaced paint a sour picture of what I can inscribe here.
After Hobberknocker's reported pause, several videos and photos show the Nova Khan screaming at extras for either not following cues or vice versa. "When the camera stops moving, sit your fat fucking ass down and wait! It's not science work or rocket nonsense! God!" the famed director kindly instructed.
"Too
much frothing, I swear that it was- I mean, I guess that's how it were
for a bit. He'd make a group of girls bark like dogs for a scene in 6 Boroughs of NYC. Where's that scene now? They cut it for a musical number instead." - Anonymous Extra
"I rather not talk about Department of Deception's final days of filming. Casanova knows that I'm a Black man, and he still made me play the slave owner. I had to get therapy after - no other way around it. Henry's racist, but that's, like, offensive to him." - Anonymous Extra
"[Casanova] didn't care how the lighting worked for a couple of shots. 'Who cares, I already got overpaid for this, they can touch it up in post.' I moved on to sound for his other movie, The War's Affair with Death, from 1985, but he ended up obsessing over Kajagoogoo and Double Lipstick D's. 'Too Shy' is like a torture tune to me now, I hate it." - Nelson Buzzard
Many
commented on the film's status with Brooks' Bicker account announcing to
withdraw from Casanova's newest project. "Careful direction comes from a
caring heart. I'm afraid I don't feel such a connection. Therefore, I
must work on other ends, stay busy still." The Bicker thread consumed
plenty of replies, though the light talk quickly swindled into dirty
dirt-digging.
Back in 2001, Casanova evaded a statutory rape charge involving then-15-year-old Jaimie Steinmetz. Now approaching her 40s, Steinmetz lives in Canada, escaping the public eye. The director in question denies any wrongdoing, yet substantial evidence obtained from social media interactions says otherwise.
Casanova
can't sue me for bringing up his past, either. The Mistrop Corner and
104.1 Plugged both go at the notorious aging incel as if it's a part of
their respective agendas. Bickers cloud his feed with poor words and
photographic pieces of Steinmetz's case. Papa and Mama Casanova openly
disown their son, like they're silently flipping the bird while smoking
juicy hash in Europe.
And then there's Julianna, who somehow manages to tolerate her father's ill behavior. Why? My lightbulb points to the cruel appeal his movies bestow on certain audiences. All that filthy sex, uproarious action, and gut-wrenching gore? Someone is yearning for this mixture; cinematic aphrodisiac.
Casanova's
films don't need a plot when all the tits, swords, and blood can
satisfy many syrup-brained fools hungry for escapism and popcorn.
Waking up to the current movie's pause became a bittersweet moment for me. I'm out of a gig, sure, but other directors actually care about their babies. I love being a part of the production process, but is it really worth all the stress and forgotten ambition? Casanova still got paid millions, and he gets to walk away with the bag while the rest of his crew members await further orders.
Last I heard, he flew to another country to let off some "electric steam," whatever that means.
I said my piece. Excuse me while I fill out film applications for virtual realistic pornography. Getting paid to only use my likeness for weak men so they can rub one (or twelve) out to a computer screen? Cunt me in.
Pg. 9
- Rebecca Heinrich, Guest Post
Bicker @ beckonthis0v0
VOCAL CONCERNS, ISSUE 714
*Editor's Note: Heinrich's writing may not follow our traditional format and choice of grammatical flair, yet I choose not to omit her inceptive coordination of conjunctions. And why should I? Let the woman speak. - Delyna E. Bennett, VOCAL CONCERNS Editor-in-Chief
While we work against censorship in official publications, the "law" allows us to post the bowdlerized words here. Bear with us as we wrestle this annoying fucking hurdle. -DEB.
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Photo Credit (popcorn): Jaehoon Park
Photo Credit (woman): DeAndre Nevels (of Nevels Media)
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